This blog is for all my brides who have called frustrated with friends, family, co-workers and even those who are just around to keep you on your knees praying.
Readers, below I am going to state the TOP 5 questions you really should NOT ask the bride, the response the bride would like to give you and my answer- so hopefully you will not ask again :).
1. What song are you walking in on?
What the bride really would like to say: MY song...next!
The bride's song is normally a surprise for the groom and..... TADAH....for YOU. Brides are very secretive about their wedding because, they desire for their wedding to be unique. With hundreds of people getting married every year and close friends getting married in the same year, no one wants their wedding song to be the song of the year!
2. Why is it an adult only reception?
What the bride really would like to say: Really?? You don't see how little Johnny running around this nail shop, pulling stuff off the walls. Honestly, you are the reason I decided against it.
Two words: COST & Behavior
When preparing for the reception, every person has to be accounted for to be served and children can run up the cost on food. Food, that most of them will not eat or play over because they are so excited with all the glitz, glam and music.
Wedding use to be a family event, when WE took pride in raising our children to behave in certain places. By nature, a child likes to run and to continue to ask a child to sit down in a wide open space, isn't really fair to the child. Therefore, to avoid annoying the child and annoying the adults who are trying to enjoy the event...brides(couples) are opting to leave the children out. Also, children restrict most adults from truly having a good time. Most adults, are not in favor of alcohol when children are present or certain kinds of music being played. Wedding are a celebration and honestly, it's hard to enjoy yourself when children are running around your feet. Lastly, lets also be mindful that any damages to venue is at the expense of the client( bride). Damages that are discovered, when little Johnny is at home sound asleep.
3. Why is your wedding so far?
What the bride really would like to say: Why you go all the way to New Orleans to see Beyonce, when she on T.V. for free?
Why a bride chooses her venue, is her decision and she has every right to pick the location that she thinks/feels is perfect for her. As guest, we are invited to an upscale event with free entertainment( band/DJ/photo booth), food, the best of the best cake, treats, sweet stations, gifts(favors), and so much more. On average, an event such as that would cost $100 or more per person. So why complain or even ask about a location that you are invited to come and support, witness and enjoy...and the bottom line is, if its really to far- you don't have to come. You just save the bride $30.00 plus one.
4. You wearing a white dress? Follow-up shade question- isn't your son 17?
What the bride really would like to say: Don't you wake up next to my uncle every morning but you still have your maiden name and we just as foolish as you, because we call you auntie and have been for the last 15 years.
OH MY to that response... where the hand on your face emoji when you need it. LAWD!
Traditionally, we are all aware that white wedding gowns symbolized purity as in a woman being a virgin BUT, with all things tradition changes or fades away. What a bride decides to wear for her wedding day is her decision. The union and what it means, is what matters. If white, truly symbolized purity...as guest we would all be attending in black. NOT off black or light brown BUT black. All have sinned and have come short of the Glory of God! Those without sin, cast the first stone...that's what I thought. No stones to be thrown!
5. Where you get those colors from?
What the bride really would like to say: None of your....business!
A color palette. Color palette are all over the internet and they assist brides with finding the perfect color selection for their wedding. Some may look strange at first site but they usually always come together. With thousands of weddings a year, and so many friends getting married within the same year. No bride desires to see her wedding colors at 5 of the 10 weddings she will attend.
To the brides, you are WELCOME. Hopefully, the madness will end.
To the people with the many questions, please note...planning a wedding can be stressful for a bride. Even trying to process that you are becoming a wife and your life is truly going to change can be scary. Therefore, what a bride really need is your support. Be mindful of the things you say. This is not your wedding, don't make it about you. Don't impose unwanted suggestions or comments on a bride. Avoid saying, " Well I would" " That's not what I did when I got married" "Is that necessary" " You doing to much". What we have to remember is, what people do with their money is their business. If we do not desire to participate or come, we do not have to...we were invited with the option of, " Regretfully Decline" OR " Attending". Lastly, I've dealt with over 200 brides/clients and every bride that had an experienced with a difficult bridesmaids, friend or family member about their wedding...it all came back around when it was their BIG DAY! We will all have our BIG own day- as a wedding, graduation, baby shower, retirement party, milestone birthday and etc. Show up and be support, just as you want others to do for you when it's your day!